- Steve Fiore
- 10 min read
I had watched a few TED Talks over the years, but it wasn't a regular practice of mine. If I watched 10 or 20, it was a lot. Of the one's I watched, a few that stood out were How I hacked online dating by Amy Webb, which I used to teach in my Introduction to Information System and Analytics class at Bryant University back in 2018 and of course, Simon Sinek's Start with Why, which I think everyone has seen. Amy's session was used to help relate dating to analytics for students that weren't necessarily going to become data scientists, and based on the student feedback, I think it worked.
When the opportunity for me to apply for and ultimately become a TEDx speaker, I jumped at the opportunity.
TEDx Speaker Experience
This post, however, is not about how to become a TED or TEDx speaker, but the emotions that were felt before, during, and after the Talk. I have enlisted the help of a few other TEDx speakers; John Boccuzzi, my son Matthew, as well as my perspective, where we all share our TEDx speaker experience. As I was preparing for my presentation, John had a direct influence which I will detail below.
Mary Beth and I, both Bryant graduates, met John, also a Bryant alumnus, along with his wife Cynthia during an alumni reception during orientation for our kids (Matthew and their son John), who attended and recently graduated from Bryant as well. John and I have stayed in touch ever since, with it now being almost 6 years. Also, if you are in the Newtown, CT area, Cynthia and John run a small business, BD Provisions, which was founded on the idea that consumers are ready to move towards more sustainable lifestyles, and everyone moves at his or her own pace.
The Rooted & Refined Living Expert Tip:
"Opportunities can appear from preparation, silence, and despair. The win is to be open to the possibility of what could be."
These stories are a more behind the scenes look and will cover the before, during, and after the TEDx Talk. We are going to start with John's story.
John Boccuzzi's Someday
In 2006, I watched my first TED Talk and said one word to myself: “Someday.”
Someday turned into 11 years.
Until Fall 2017, when Jake Zimmer, a Bryant University student I had met the prior year reached out and invited me to apply to speak at the first TEDx at Bryant University.
No more excuses. This was the sign.
I spent weeks asking myself a hard question: After watching 100+ TED Talks…What could I possibly offer? The answer was my passion: customer experience, and one unforgettable story about Ruth, a pair of glasses, and how exceptional service can change a life.
When I shared the title idea with my wife Cynthia, she said it needed to be bold.
She suggested: “I Was Seduced by Exceptional Customer Service.”
It felt provocative. Maybe too provocative. But what did I have to lose?
I applied. I interviewed with the committee. I was selected.
And that’s when the real work began.
TEDx is structured. Two in-person rehearsals. Hard deadlines. Tight timing.
I wrote the talk. Rewrote it. Practiced for weeks.
Lesson #1: Talent is optional. Preparation is not.
Two days before the talk in February 2018, I came down with a terrible fever. Instead of staying overnight in Providence with my wife and two kids, I stayed home and tried to recover. We drove up early the morning of the event.
On that drive I had every thought you can imagine:
What if the fever derails me?
What if I forget my talk?
What if the slides fail?
What if the audience doesn’t react?
Backstage, every speaker wore the same expression; excitement mixed with anxiety.
Then it was my turn. The lights were so bright I couldn’t see the audience. Probably a gift. I couldn’t even see Cynthia and the kids.
I started. It was flowing. I felt great.
With less than a minute left, my internal voice started celebrating.
And that’s when it happened.
I forgot my next line.
Time froze.
Instead of apologizing or panicking, I paused. It felt like an hour. It was probably three seconds.
I refocused. Turned off the celebration voice. Delivered the ending. The applause was incredible. Hugging my family afterward was even better.
Lesson #2: Composure beats perfection.
After the event, I shared the video with friends, colleagues, and on LinkedIn.
It took off.
Within months it was recognized as one of the best Customer Experience talks of 2018.
Seven years later, it’s approaching one million views.
And in 2024, I followed it up with a book: The Art of Seducing Your Customers.
Lesson #3: One courageous “yes” can compound for years.
From “Someday” in 2006…To TEDx in 2018…To nearly a million views…
To a book.
If you’re sitting on a “Someday” goal…
Maybe it’s time to remove the excuses.
What’s your “Someday”?
The Fiore Overview
Giving a TED or TEDx Talk is exhilarating but also comes with its challenges.
I think when I was giving my Talk, my family held their breath for the entire 15 minutes as they were watching me. It was a different feeling for me watching Matthew speak. I had only heard one early draft of his speech, but just with that one early version, I was confident it was going to go well.
As Matthew was giving his Talk, Mary Beth and I both had the same feeling that he was offering hope to people that were dealing with autism, either the individuals themselves or the families that were supporting them. Even to this day, Matthew doesn't see that perspective; it was just a speech to him. When you get to the end of this page, I will post an excerpt of one of the notes we got following his speech on the impact he made to at least one person.
Matthew's Story
Giving a TED talk was never something on my bucket list, and honestly, it became even less likely after watching my father give one.
Seeing him on stage made me so nervous. But that feeling only lasted about a year, because soon enough, I was giving my first TEDx talk at Bryant University.
I won't go into the full details here since you can hear that in my TED talk; but I was diagnosed with Autism late in life, during my freshman year of college. Receiving that diagnosis sent me through something similar to the five stages of grief as I tried to reconcile this newly defined reality, even though nothing in my life had actually changed. Deep down, I always knew autism was part of me, but the formal diagnosis made it real in a way I had never faced before.
The theme of the TEDx event was Through My Eyes, which felt fitting for my story. I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted to say at first; I mostly saw it as the final step in my journey toward fully accepting my diagnosis. Like I'm doing now, I started by simply typing my thoughts with no particular structure- just whatever came to mind. I worked with my parents and a close mentor to turn those thoughts into a cohesive story. I wanted to share my personal experiences while still creating something that anyone, not just autistic individuals, could connect with. Beyond my own reasons for doing it, my hope was to impact a last one person such as a parent, a family member, or someone on the spectrum who could take something meaningful away from my talk.
During the writing process, I remember feeling overwhelmed at times, but I kept chipping away at each draft. The talk was definitely happening, so I locked in and focused on refining it one iteration at a time.
Memorizing the speech ended up being the easiest part for me, I learned my 15-minute talk in just over a week. I know that's not exactly relatable to most people, but let's call it one of the perks of autism. As for actually giving the talk? I barely remember it. I essentially blacked out on stage. I remember the moments before and after, but the entire time I was speaking is a complete blank. Afterward, I celebrated with my family and friends over pizza and dessert.
The next day, I felt accomplished and relieved that the four-month process was finally over. I went to work as a substitute teacher like I normally did on Mondays. My morning routine felt normal, but something was off. I became dizzy and light-headed, and no amount of water or deep breathing helped. Because I was in an elementary school, the staff became concerned and called an ambulance. I found myself lying on this tiny hospital bed clearly meant for a seven-year-old, crying because the school had ordered a stay-in-place lockdown just to move me safely. I felt awful for disrupting everyone's day, but eventually I ended up at the hospital, where they diagnosed me with vertigo.
Long story short: my body had completely crashed from the pressure and excitement of giving the talk. I can laugh about it now, but at the time, I was definitely net amused.
In the end, l am glad I gave the TEDx talk. It felt like the right conclusion to my journey toward accepting my autism. I have only rewatched the YouTube video once, I just can't do it, but I'm glad it's out there and hopefully it makes a small impact on someone every now and then.
My Story
I applied to be a TEDx speaker because I thought it would be pretty cool. I know TED and TEDx have a great reputation but as I mentioned above, I really wasn't a big watcher of the Talks. I brainstormed several concepts but kept coming back to one specific period in my recent career. I was transitioning between roles at my company, performing both my old and new jobs simultaneously, and surprisingly, that was when I was highly productive.
I started to analyze why I was productive and it started to become a long list (many of which are chronicled on previous posts, including Blue Zone Inspired Smoothie with Black Beans and Garbanzo.
After I had a rough outline and early draft, I enlisted the help of a speech writer, Jennifer Woodbury, who was on contract with my company and I had participated on a few of her training sessions. Armed with my initial training, Jennifer and I worked on making my speech better aligned to a college student audience.
Working with Jennifer was fantastic. I had to record our sessions as she had so many ideas, it was hard to write that fast to capture everything she was sharing. Working with her was great as it made my speech so much better, but at the same time, it made my preparation that much harder. The words didn't flow off the page because they weren't mine as I was speaking them. I remember vividly as I was practicing that there were sections of the speech that were mine and there were sections or lines that were hers. This was really hard to get past but after about 6 weeks of daily practice, the words finally became mine.
I also called on John Boccuzzi for guidance as he had recently performed his TEDx Talk. John shared his comments (as he did above) that he was so close to finishing his speech but blanked at the end.
I do credit John with the idea of the act of taking the shot of olive oil in the very beginning. I had the words in the speech, but John actually suggested taking the shot (as it is a bit full circle, John's son was one of the student organizers for our event and was the one who removed the shot and chair when I was done).
This is where it gets interesting for me. With 3 lines left in my first section (as I memorized all 5 sections of my speech), I blanked. Not like John where he stated it was 3 seconds that felt like a lifetime. I blanked for a full 30 seconds (which I timed when I got the raw video). I know I gave my family, who were in the audience, a heart attack as time slowly passed by.
Thank goodness for video editing (which was the only edit for my video). When you watch it, you will never know that I blanked.
I ultimately decided to move on to the next section and hope for the best. The rest of the speech went off pretty much without any other issues and I was very excited to finish and proud of my accomplishments.
However, I couldn't get those 30 seconds out of my head. For what should have been a great moment of success, I couldn't get past how I messed up those 30 seconds. I decided to rewatch Jaime Diglio's WAR Room speech and made the decision that it was time to forget about the 1 mistake and focus on all the great things that happened before, during, and after the speech.
It's been a few years since I gave my speech. It is closing in on 4,000 views (not quite as many as John's) but very respectable in my own mind!
Excerpt from someone who watched Matthew's TEDx Talk
This excerpt meant so much to us. It was from Matthew's speech therapist when he was 1 1/2 to 3 years old. Ironically, Matthew didn't talk for the first 2 1/2 years of his life.
My oldest daughter, (now 17 and a senior next year) is going through a similar situation. Over the past 10 years, I’ve had my concerns with multiple doctors regarding her sensory, social, and communication skills and needs. Multiple test results indicate “inconclusive to support an ASD diagnosis”. It has been a frustrating battle to get the support she requires and for family members to accept it. I found a psychiatrist a few months ago who is able to give my daughter an ASD diagnosis and was surprised how she wasn’t diagnosed earlier. There has been an influx of 16-18 year old girls getting diagnosed at this time and the psychiatrist is baffled on why this is happening so later in life for females.
So here I am, 10 years later, shedding tears of joy knowing my daughter will have to support she needs when she turns 18.
Anyways, Matthew’s speech has been another way for me to get through to my daughter to have her understand that she CAN find success and not see ASD as a label or a disability. Our motto is “See the able, not the label”. It’s okay to be unique and to love and accept herself for who she is. I feel Matthew’s message has sunken in because she has asked me for updates and “Is Matthew famous yet? He has inspired me to help me understand who I and accept who I am.”
As with all TED and TEDx Talks, they are designed as powerful ideas worth spreading. If you like these stories or TEDx Talks, please share.
For Transparency: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. If you purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I truly love and use myself.
