Top 5 Ways to Be More Intentional

Photo by Lucas Calloch

When I first started working, my VP (2 levels above me) seemed like the busiest person. He had work, he was an avid golfer and had a wife and 2 kids. I was always curious how one of those three didn't suffer, which is typically family.

Then one day, during a conversation with a mutual colleague, the individual shared with me that when our VP is at home, he is solely focused on the family. When he is golfing, he is just focused on golfing, and the same with work.

He was being intentional.

It was my first experience to that concept and one that stuck with me ever since.

Today, the hardest part I see for most people is to be engaged with an in-person conversation. The go to is opening your phone, either to check messages or social media. Typically, it is when a conversation doesn't hold our interest, we opt to go to our phones, which provide that immediate hit of dopamine to the brain.

Another great example is going to a concert. I first noticed it many years ago when my in-laws got Mary Beth and I tickets to go see Taylor Swift on her Fearless tour. All of the tween and teenage girls near us weren't watching the concert, they were filming it on their phones. Instead of just being in the moment, they were abstracted from the concert with the phone as the barrier. I feel every concert since is that way as well.

Knowing all this information, how do you make the switch to become more intentional?

Here are 5 steps to be more intentional.

• Step 1) Recognize there is an opportunity to become more intentional

  • As with most things in life, recognizing the opportunity (or problem) is the first step in the process.
    

• Step 2) Make the decision you want to be more intentional

  • Deciding to be more present in your life and not living behind your phone or computer screen is a choice and you have to want to do it. There are lots of benefits that you will experience. There is a reason the term "stop and smell the roses" is so popular.
    

• Step 3) Breath

  • Yup, breath. Take time out of your day, ideally in a quiet spot but it doesn't have to be, and just breath. Actually, there is a bit more to it. You have to focus on your breathing. Sometimes you hear it as the breath is your anchor. Everyone breathes every second of every day. But take the time to focus on one part of your breathing. For example, it could be the movement in and out of your diaphragm, chest, or stomach (you can also put your hand on your chest or stomach to feel the movement). Other areas of focus could be on the cool air going in and out of your nose (or mouth). More than anything, just find something to focus on.
    

• Step 4) Come back from a wondering mind

  • It will most likely happen that your mind will wonder and your will lose focus on breathing. The idea is to recognize when this happens and come back to the focus on the breath.
    

• Step 5) Take the time to do it

  • I just read that 12 minutes is the ideal amount of time to get the most benefit and every minute thereafter is even better. If you are just starting out, maybe try for 1 minute or 5 minutes and work your way up.

Try to notice over time how this is helping. Are you not on your phone as often? Are you engaged more in conversations? Do you ask questions to the person you are with? Do you find your attention span is better? Are you reconnecting with hobbies you used to do like reading?

These are all signs of improving your wellbeing by being intentional.

For me, I don't do it every day, but I try a few times a week to work on these steps. Sometimes it is just sitting in my chair, other times it is when I am outside in nature or driving a car and focusing on the changing leaves (as it is fall now as I write this). There are companies that can help with this like Calm or Headspace. About once a week in the mornings, I listen to one of the 8 episodes of Headspace Guide to Meditation on Netflix which helps.

Today, I just sat in silence and as I was focused on my breathing, I was thinking of something happy like the warm sun at the beach in Aruba, and then it focused on the airline plane tickets, and then something else. When I realized I was wondering, I went back to focus on the breathing.

Again, you don't need any tools or to pay for anything. You just need time, the desire, and to follow the steps from above.

If you already do this or you have tried these steps, how has it helped you?

Cover Photo by Tom Dils

The Books That Transformed My Purpose and Longevity

Photo by Sid Saxena

I am not an avid reader.

I wish I was but never truly enjoyed reading. I do recall going to visit bookstores and the library on many occasions where I would walk in and wish I could absorb all of the great information by osmosis.

When I was growing up, my schools didn't require a lot of reading either. I remember reading The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger and Catch-22 by Joseph Heller but that was about it.

In fact, most of my time was spent reading the daily comic strips in the newspaper with my favorite being Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson. If you don't know about Calvin and Hobbes, Calvin is a 6-year-old boy and Hobbes is his stuffed tiger but comes to life in his imagination and they do great things together as well as get in a bit of trouble. I miss that strip and now pick up a daily dose on Facebook. You can also pick up the books as individual or the complete collection on Amazon.

Balancing my love for Calvin and Hobbes, I have fallen in love with two books that I would recommend to anyone.

More importantly, these two book recommendations are rooted in everything we do within this lifestyle website. The first book focuses on your purpose and the second focuses on your longevity, and honestly both go hand in hand.

The first is Start with Why by Simon Sinek. Simon gained popularity around the world from his TED Talk on the same topic. The book helps you understand why your why is so important. Basically, it's your purpose in life. Simon created a company around it called the Optimism Company. The company's why is "We are here to inspire people to do the things that inspire them so that, together, each of us can change our world for the better."

To give you a personal example, I like to help others. Very early in my career, I started mentoring colleagues and still do so today. I also spent a few years as an Adjunct Professor which I loved and hope to be able to do it again in the future. As well, I was a TEDx speaker on a topic of personal productivity, wrote a blog series on it, and even created a Udemy course about it. I post an article each year around college graduation on advice from others in the business world, both experienced and recent graduates. These last few items are pinned to my LinkedIn profile if you would like to know more.

So regardless of what action I am taking, if I can relate it back to helping people, such as this starting this website, it aligns to my why.

The second book is The Blue Zones by Dan Buettner. The book chronicles 9 regions around the world that have a significantly higher than average life expectancy. Dan, originally highlighted the regions with a blue marker on a map, hence the name, visited each region and interviewed many of the individuals who were well into their 90's, 100's and beyond.

There were a few key themes that emerged from his book including movement (walking, gardening, exercise) and eating a plant-based diet, with a strong focus on beans based on their combination of supplying protein, fiber, and other key nutrients at a very low cost. Two of the other key factors was having purpose (such as volunteering, helping others, ie- finding your why) and connection, such as having good friends.

I wrote a few posts on the Blue Zones in my plan to live to over 110 years of age as well as adding beans to my daily diet.

As you have read through this entire post, you can only see there are just 2 book recommendations (outside of Calvin and Hobbes).

What books have helped you level up your lifestyle?

Cover photo by Sid Saxena

For Transparency: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. If you purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I truly love and use myself.

Simple Steps to Build Confidence That Lasts

Photo by Robert Bye

For the lifestyle and wellness tips I have shared so far, they are all easy to do such as drinking water. Once you drink the glass of water, you have accomplished the task. The same is true for vacations, sleeping, etc. The challenge with confidence is you can have it one day and then it can be gone the next.

Sometimes, the ebb and flow of confidence is natural, such as when you go from your last year of high school to your first day of college. Losing that confidence is often expected and then grows again over time.

Other times, losing confidence is the painful reality of a negative situation, such as when a boss is constantly getting on your case and nothing you do is going right. This example was very real to me. I had a prior boss that no matter what I did, I couldn't do anything right and every time he called me, before I even picked up the phone, I thought I did something wrong. That feeling lingered with me as I switched companies with a new boss. I still had the feeling the boss was going to give me negative feedback and I always had a fear when my boss' name came up on my phone.

I was always a person with confidence, even from a very early age but the situation above was a rattled me and I didn't know how to get myself out of it.

Turns out that it happened naturally, and I mainly attribute it to a 30-day Ab Challenge my wife asked me to do. Up until this point, I think I did 5 sit ups my entire life and doing a whole idea of ab work including sit ups, crunches, and planks seemed ridiculous. So much so that I barely knew what a plank was at the time.

My wife and I embarked on this journey; a painful one both physically as well as motivationally, but we succeeded after the 30 days. The unexpected thing happened to me afterwards, my confidence grew.

I attribute it to my stomach muscles being stronger and as a result, I was standing up straighter, walking more upright and even sitting with greater poise.

Because of the increased posture, the confidence became much more engrained in my daily life, allowing me to bring more balance to the ebbs and flows that are traditionally met with confidence or lack thereof. Today, I still do plank exercises once a week and still believe it is the number one factor for driving a consistent level of confidence on a daily basis.

I know if may be scary but try a 30-day ab challenge yourself, and better yet, find a friend or family member that will do it with you.

Here is a link to my TEDx Talk, How Drinking Olive Oil and Curiosity Changed My Life, which I also cover the same topic of confidence.

Cover photo credit to Sydney Rae