Top 5 Ways to Be More Intentional

Photo by Lucas Calloch

When I first started working, my VP (2 levels above me) seemed like the busiest person. He had work, he was an avid golfer and had a wife and 2 kids. I was always curious how one of those three didn't suffer, which is typically family.

Then one day, during a conversation with a mutual colleague, the individual shared with me that when our VP is at home, he is solely focused on the family. When he is golfing, he is just focused on golfing, and the same with work.

He was being intentional.

It was my first experience to that concept and one that stuck with me ever since.

Today, the hardest part I see for most people is to be engaged with an in-person conversation. The go to is opening your phone, either to check messages or social media. Typically, it is when a conversation doesn't hold our interest, we opt to go to our phones, which provide that immediate hit of dopamine to the brain.

Another great example is going to a concert. I first noticed it many years ago when my in-laws got Mary Beth and I tickets to go see Taylor Swift on her Fearless tour. All of the tween and teenage girls near us weren't watching the concert, they were filming it on their phones. Instead of just being in the moment, they were abstracted from the concert with the phone as the barrier. I feel every concert since is that way as well.

Knowing all this information, how do you make the switch to become more intentional?

Here are 5 steps to be more intentional.

• Step 1) Recognize there is an opportunity to become more intentional

  • As with most things in life, recognizing the opportunity (or problem) is the first step in the process.
    

• Step 2) Make the decision you want to be more intentional

  • Deciding to be more present in your life and not living behind your phone or computer screen is a choice and you have to want to do it. There are lots of benefits that you will experience. There is a reason the term "stop and smell the roses" is so popular.
    

• Step 3) Breath

  • Yup, breath. Take time out of your day, ideally in a quiet spot but it doesn't have to be, and just breath. Actually, there is a bit more to it. You have to focus on your breathing. Sometimes you hear it as the breath is your anchor. Everyone breathes every second of every day. But take the time to focus on one part of your breathing. For example, it could be the movement in and out of your diaphragm, chest, or stomach (you can also put your hand on your chest or stomach to feel the movement). Other areas of focus could be on the cool air going in and out of your nose (or mouth). More than anything, just find something to focus on.
    

• Step 4) Come back from a wondering mind

  • It will most likely happen that your mind will wonder and your will lose focus on breathing. The idea is to recognize when this happens and come back to the focus on the breath.
    

• Step 5) Take the time to do it

  • I just read that 12 minutes is the ideal amount of time to get the most benefit and every minute thereafter is even better. If you are just starting out, maybe try for 1 minute or 5 minutes and work your way up.

Try to notice over time how this is helping. Are you not on your phone as often? Are you engaged more in conversations? Do you ask questions to the person you are with? Do you find your attention span is better? Are you reconnecting with hobbies you used to do like reading?

These are all signs of improving your wellbeing by being intentional.

For me, I don't do it every day, but I try a few times a week to work on these steps. Sometimes it is just sitting in my chair, other times it is when I am outside in nature or driving a car and focusing on the changing leaves (as it is fall now as I write this). There are companies that can help with this like Calm or Headspace. About once a week in the mornings, I listen to one of the 8 episodes of Headspace Guide to Meditation on Netflix which helps.

Today, I just sat in silence and as I was focused on my breathing, I was thinking of something happy like the warm sun at the beach in Aruba, and then it focused on the airline plane tickets, and then something else. When I realized I was wondering, I went back to focus on the breathing.

Again, you don't need any tools or to pay for anything. You just need time, the desire, and to follow the steps from above.

If you already do this or you have tried these steps, how has it helped you?

Cover Photo by Tom Dils