Simple Steps to Build Confidence That Lasts

Photo by Robert Bye

For the lifestyle and wellness tips I have shared so far, they are all easy to do such as drinking water. Once you drink the glass of water, you have accomplished the task. The same is true for vacations, sleeping, etc. The challenge with confidence is you can have it one day and then it can be gone the next.

Sometimes, the ebb and flow of confidence is natural, such as when you go from your last year of high school to your first day of college. Losing that confidence is often expected and then grows again over time.

Other times, losing confidence is the painful reality of a negative situation, such as when a boss is constantly getting on your case and nothing you do is going right. This example was very real to me. I had a prior boss that no matter what I did, I couldn't do anything right and every time he called me, before I even picked up the phone, I thought I did something wrong. That feeling lingered with me as I switched companies with a new boss. I still had the feeling the boss was going to give me negative feedback and I always had a fear when my boss' name came up on my phone.

I was always a person with confidence, even from a very early age but the situation above was a rattled me and I didn't know how to get myself out of it.

Turns out that it happened naturally, and I mainly attribute it to a 30-day Ab Challenge my wife asked me to do. Up until this point, I think I did 5 sit ups my entire life and doing a whole idea of ab work including sit ups, crunches, and planks seemed ridiculous. So much so that I barely knew what a plank was at the time.

My wife and I embarked on this journey; a painful one both physically as well as motivationally, but we succeeded after the 30 days. The unexpected thing happened to me afterwards, my confidence grew.

I attribute it to my stomach muscles being stronger and as a result, I was standing up straighter, walking more upright and even sitting with greater poise.

Because of the increased posture, the confidence became much more engrained in my daily life, allowing me to bring more balance to the ebbs and flows that are traditionally met with confidence or lack thereof. Today, I still do plank exercises once a week and still believe it is the number one factor for driving a consistent level of confidence on a daily basis.

I know if may be scary but try a 30-day ab challenge yourself, and better yet, find a friend or family member that will do it with you.

Here is a link to my TEDx Talk, How Drinking Olive Oil and Curiosity Changed My Life, which I also cover the same topic of confidence.

Cover photo credit to Sydney Rae

Simple Daily Walks for Better Health and Mindset

Photo by Youcef Chenzer

While I am not in a sales position anymore, I spent most of my career in sales and most recently in a few customer facing leaderships roles. I never considered myself the best salesperson or the quickest on my feet to answer questions. I also wasn't the person people gravitated to at the bar to hear a great story or a funny joke (although I do try my best with some dad jokes from time to time).

When I was interacting with a customer, what I could control was my responses. I always tried to be open, honest, and focused on giving responses that were deliberate and thoughtful. It was what I could control to perform at my best.

As a result, I always strived to be at the top of my game because sales didn't come easy or natural to me, and I needed every advantage I could leverage. This is why walking was such a critical step to gain that clarity and focus.

Finding Clarity Through Walking

For as long as I can remember in my professional career, I would walk at least a few days a week before work. I do remember in my 30's though, there were some days when I just didn't feel like it and would wake up to a much longer hot shower than normal and bypass the walk. I thought it did the same thing, but I was wrong. When I did walk, it was a brisk 15-minute pace around my neighborhood which consisted of a pretty big hill for half of the 3/4 mile (1.2 kilometer) trip.

Resilience After a Health Scare

Then something happened. I ran into a medical issue in my early 40's where I was in the ICU for 11 days. A few weeks prior, I had an issue where my vein was rubbing against my bone, and it got aggravated and formed blood clots. This is the same issue that many sports professionals get when they do a lot of body movements above their shoulders- most notably was Victor Wembanyama and similarly with Damian Lillard (although he had it in his leg). I got the clots removed and then the bone removed causing the problem and all was good, up until the anti-coagulant (also known as blood thinners) drug I was on caused me to lose 1/3 of my body's blood and collapse my lung. It was an unexpected and very rare complication to a seemingly successful surgery the week prior.

It was also a reminder to me that I don't do well with prescription medication and why I spend so much time to make sure I don't need to be on them.

Coming out of the hospital, I struggled to walk and every step I took was painful as it was so much effort on my body. But each day I walked, I found it was better than the day prior. Over time, about 2 months later, I was just about back to normal.

Building a Lifelong Routine

For me, partly to stay healthy, and partly to keep the discipline, I decided to walk every day. My 11 days in the ICU didn't cause a radical life event like taking up rock climbing or trying out for American Ninja Warrior (as I watched it on the last day of my hospital stay). But it did cement the idea that walking was necessary for my long-term health.

Every workday, including when I travel, I walk for about 15 minutes in the morning, and usually a longer walk (few miles) with Mary Beth on a Sunday morning. My morning walks are the same brisk walks that I have been doing for so many years.

I know many of you do the same (and hopefully I can inspire those who don't walk to do so). But here is where I may differ from many in my daily walking routine. I start by moving my arms in multiple directions, including recently crossing my body as I read that of all sports athletes, tennis players live the longest (9 years based on the study I read vs. other athletes) partly due to the cross-body motion (although I haven't taken up pickleball yet). I then take a portion of my trip and switch between walking is on a smooth street and the other part of my walk is on a very uneven sidewalk from the tree roots (kind of mimicking walking in the woods in uneven ground which gets the mind to think differently).

In addition, there is a portion of the time where I run. This part I actually hate but it loosens up different muscles and my lungs. Lastly, I walk backwards and then skip for a bit as it trains the brain to think differently due to the non-traditional movement (I also incorporated brushing my teeth with my opposite hand, which took some time to get used to, for the same reason).

The other thing I am consistent with is walking at relatively the same time each workday, roughly between 6:00 and 6:30 am, rain or shine. The only time I don't walk is when it is pouring out or there is snow or ice on the road. For those days, we bought a stepper which I use periodically.

I have also recently been reading that it is more important for your blood sugar (again I am not a doctor or medical professional) to walk for about 10 minutes after a meal. The short time walking does wonders to help regulate the blood sugar. I have recently been incorporating that into my daily routine as well with my dogs (two long haired dachshunds) getting the benefits after lunch and dinner.

Lastly, and this might be a deal breaker for many, I go on all of my walks in my neighborhood and with Mary Beth without my phone. It's a bit of a detox and a great opportunity to listen to the sounds of nature. Conversely, I do use my phone when I am traveling more for safety than anything else.

This was a long story to share that I walk 15 minutes each morning and more recently, 10 minutes after each meal.

For those who don't walk or just walk periodically, my advice is just start.

Cover photo credit to Chris Hardy